You Thought You Wanted This… But Trust Us, You Don’t
Oh, bless your heart. You were really hoping for Nana’s Way, weren’t you? Well, let us paint you a picture:
First, Nana shows up (late, because “traffic was just awful”), armed with a mop that’s older than you and a bottle of mystery cleaner that smells suspiciously like a mix of vinegar, bleach, and regret. She’ll spend the first 20 minutes telling you how much dirt she used to clean back in her day—without all these fancy products—before finally getting started.
Your baseboards? Oh, they’ll get scrubbed… but not before you hear a 30-minute lecture on how “kids these days just don’t clean like they used to.” Your countertops? Sure, they’ll be wiped—right after Nana clears them off and rearranges everything in a way that “makes more sense” (good luck finding your toaster).
And if you dare try to help? Prepare for the wrath of Nana. You’ll get the classic, “Just sit down, you’re in my way!” followed immediately by, “You know, a little help around here wouldn’t hurt.”
Oh, and one last thing—once Nana’s done, she’ll absolutely refuse to take your money, but will accept payment in the form of you sitting down to hear about her bunions and why no one calls her anymore.
So, while we love a deep clean, we regret to inform you that Nana’s Way is unavailable… forever. Trust us—it’s for your own good. 😆
“My house is so clean I can hear echoes. Nana didn’t just wipe my countertops—she interrogated them. She opened every cabinet, shook her head in disappointment, and rearranged my spices into ‘a more logical order’ (I still can’t find the cinnamon). One star deducted because she took one look at my dog, pointed at the door, and said, “You contribute nothing.”
“Nana came in, took one look around, and scoffed so hard my plants wilted. She called my living room ‘an embarrassment to furniture’ and made me move my couch—not because she couldn’t, but because she wanted me to ‘build character.’ Then, just as I finally sat down to relax, she side-eyed me so hard I stood back up out of guilt. My house is cleaner than ever, but somehow, I feel like I need to go sweep again.”
“I thought I was getting a cleaning service, but what I actually got was a life evaluation. Nana followed me around, pointing out things I ‘should be ashamed of.’ She didn’t just clean—she judged. My floors have never been shinier, but my self-esteem has never been lower. 10/10 would recommend if you need both a deep clean and a reality check.”
